Root Ramblings

Have you ever noticed how many different uses there are for the word, "roots"? Yeah, me neither. Today, though, my mind started wandering, and that's where it landed. How many ways can you think of to use "roots" in a sentence? I'll give you a minute.... cue Jeopardy music...

Once you got started, you may have noticed that root definitions are kind of like roots themselves - branching, intertwining, going a lot deeper than you initially thought. I'm not going to bore you with a list of all the different definitions. I'm just going to bore you with a couple that jump out to me personally. If you want to abandon ship, now would be the time. Still here? Let's start rooting around with roots!

I'm pretty sure that when making a list, only my math teacher friends may have included a math definition. For the rest of you, bear with me; I'll make this as painless as possible. In math, "root" is used in a couple different ways. The root of a number is this radical value (pun fully intended) that when multiplied by itself a certain number of times creates another number: the square of a square root, the cube of a cube root, and so on. The roots of a polynomial (also called "solutions" or "zeros") are the values that make the function evaluate to zero. Visually, you can picture roots as the spots where the graph of a function crosses the x-axis.

Since not all functions cross the x-axis, not all roots are real. In fact, lots of numbers and polynomials have imaginary roots. That means there are a lot of imaginary zeros that are really solutions, even though they aren't real solutions. Confused yet? It might start getting complex (another pun!) here, so I'm just going to let you ponder this: The number of complex (including imaginary) roots is infinitely greater than the infinite amount of real ones.

This whole roots thing started as I was in the umpteenth hour of pulling grass and weeds from my flower beds. The grass had really taken root during the course of a particularly wet winter and spring, so I had plenty of time to ponder grass roots as I tried to eradicate them (quite unsuccessfully, I'm sure). Here's the thing about grass roots: they form incredibly strong networks. Spend a few hours trying to infiltrate the network and you will have a new appreciation for the concept of a "grassroots" organization. The roots may not run terribly deep, but they spread and interweave in a way that makes every individual blade a vital, seemingly invincible part of the entire system. (GeekMercy here for you less garden-y and more Star Trek-y folks: I imagine grass roots are something like the Borg collective.)

http://www.ck12.org/book/CK-12-Biology-Concepts/r26/section/9.14/

Taproots are much more solitary creatures than grass roots, and probably even more frustrating. If you have ever tried to remove a dandelion root from your lawn or garden, you know taproots. Taproots are super deep and strong, and virtually impossible to remove completely. I am pretty sure that every dandelion and starchy rumex root that I've left mangled in the soil sprouts three new plants, purely out of spite. Taproots can bite me.

Is there anyone that you keep in your life simply because you have a long history (i.e. deep roots) together? It might be a childhood friend or a significant other, but it's someone with whom you no longer share anything other than tradition. That person is your taproot. You know that the garden of your life would be a lot less messy without that person, but experience has proven that it's a lot harder to get rid of them than you thought. You can't just cut them off because they keep coming back. I think if you really want to get rid of that person, you have to treat them like a taproot. Get your hands dirty and dig really deep to sever the root, making sure to get all the little secondary roots too. It's hard. I mean really really hard. After digging for a while, you start to think that it would just be easier to tolerate the dandelion. It is familiar and not so bad really, so you decide to just leave it alone. Next thing you know, you are overrun with dandelions. Not me. I'm on an emotional taproot eradication campaign, clearing the weeds out again so the lovely things that I've planted have room to grow.

I could go on with more examples of roots. I'm pretty satisfied with my metaphor, though, so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead. Besides, I just spotted a rogue dandelion in my hosta that must be dispatched. Until next time, happy weeding!