The Flirtation Mix

When was the last time you actually flirted? Not like a giggle-at-the-cute-guy-at-the-coffee-shop type of flirt, but a deliberate flirt-at-someone-in-particular kind of flirt. It's probably been a while, right?

The text flirtation is a pretty key element in online dating. It has been so long since I've been flirty that it feels like I'm learning a new skill. I'm probably over-analyzing something that should come naturally to me, but flirting is hard! You want to let the guy know that you are fun (but not easy), a lady (but no prude), smart (but not too smart)...

For me, The Flirtation is basically a combination of Play, Fast-Forward, Rewind, and sometimes, Eject.

Fast-Forward - Okay, let's just make that Forward. I'm not really that fast. At anything. However, I have to be a little bit forward to be flirty. I tend to be a tad sarcastic and I grew up surrounded by plenty of dudes, so I can bust balls with the best of 'em. Good strategy when watching football with guy friends, but I'm beginning to suspect this is not really the best way to win a man's heart...especially when you realize that sarcastic tone and twinkle in eye do not come across in text. So, I'm trying to be more, I don't know, charming with a hint of sex appeal. I don't think it's working as the inevitable response is "cute". Eh, I'll take it.

Rewind - Once I type my forward (but not too forward) message, and press Send, I instantly wish for a Rewind button and start panicking. Was that too forward? Will he get it? What if he doesn't respond? Eject! Eject! Eject!

Play - He takes the bait, sends a flirty reply, and I feel just forward enough to play again.

You know, The Flirtation is kind of like making...

Mix Tapes

"Darlin Come Home" and "Valentunes" - Catchy, right?

Do you have any of these lying about in a box somewhere? Mine reside in a big ol' box of obsolescence that I stumble over when I climb into the attic to get my Christmas decorations or pack for a move. Along with all the CD's that I have been meaning to put on my computer (for, like, 15 years), the box holds all the cassettes which somehow never got thrown out when CD's came into the picture. It's not like there is an emotional attachment or some other reason that I'm holding on to them - I'm just lazy. After all this time, it's just easier to store and move the box than it would be to deal with sorting and getting rid of it.

I have no idea what is on the mix tapes in the picture. The lists of song titles have long since disappeared and I haven't owned a cassette player for at least 10 years. I think maybe I remember receiving "Valentunes" from a boyfriend once, and "Darlin Come Home" sounds like something that another boyfriend would have made...but then again, maybe it was left behind by a former roommate when she moved out. No clue. Let me know if you recognize one of them as yours!

If you have ever made a special mix tape for someone you kinda dig, you can probably appreciate how sad it is that I know nothing about these particular mix tapes. Making a mix for someone else is a painstaking process. First, you have to assemble a 90 minute set of songs that communicates whatever emotion it is that you are trying to convey (see photo). Once you have your songs gathered, you have to break them into two lists, one for each side of the cassette. Then, you need to figure out the playing time for each side and make adjustments as needed to get each side down to a perfect 44:30 and ensure that the flow is just so from one song to the next.

With all the prep work done, you are finally ready to make your mix tape! Now your job is to diligently man the controls of your dual-cassette recorder for the next two hours. Fast forward and rewind to get the song cued up with no dead air, pause, press record and play, listen to the entire song, be ready to press pause the moment it ends, swap cassettes, and repeat.

Once you've made the mix and carefully crafted a label and title for the album, all you can do is give your labor of love to that special someone and hope that they "get" it. With any luck, she will play it over and over and think of you. Most likely, though, it's going to end up at the bottom of a box that just keeps getting moved from house to house for the next 20 years.

Anyone have a cassette player?